Do You Know What Gets Me Depressed

Posted in Depression by depressiondoctor on May 19th, 2007

I start my day with every thing planned as to what do I need to do in terms of my job, I need to get my kids ready for school, have to make the breakfast and drop them off at school, this is how my day starts.

I work through the day till its time to get the kids from school and then I have to cook the lunch and feed them and help them do their homework and fix the house in the meantime. I know I can handle stress, I know I can be patient, I know I can just stand all only if I am being appreciated of all what I do. But to tell you honestly, it does not happen.

I am being criticized for every single thing that I do, I work day in and day out and I see that and hear the only words that “Things are not being done the way they should have been”, do you know what these words create in me, they create in me a feeling of worthlessness, depression, stress. I just feel that I cannot stand any more of this and then another day passes by.

Sometimes I feel that I really can’t go on anymore, but then I compose myself again and I know that I am the only one person on which a lot depends, I have to make the ends meet, I have to work and make sure that everything just falls into the right place, but at the day’s end all I get is being blamed upon that I am not able to work things that way I should. Can you tell me as to how would you feel if you are to be put in my shoes, I know that there could be different answers according to the different individuals, but honestly speaking, it does get one stressed out really bad no matter whichever way you are going to deal with it.

I am living each day at a time and I am just pulling myself up to make sure that I do not get so down that I get ill or I get so stressed or depressed that I am unable to go to work or I am unable to do what I have to do every single day. It just makes me feel really sick and makes me think at times that I am the one who is not right, I am the one who just cannot do things the right way, I am starting to believe of what is being told to me, but then my conscience just gives me the rings that this is not right of what is being told and I am not the one who messes up things and I go through all those feelings because I hear that every single day and sometimes its just enough.

Being a person, I have my own patience, there are times when I crack and there are times when I try to pull myself as much as I can, but still I am person who gets depressed with all the things going on in my life, but I have learnt that I will fight with everything that is going on inside and I will work my best to raise my children with all the values that I have and I am going to make them strong to live with stress if they have to and I believe they will all do great.

My kids are my strength and I gather strength from them every single day and I want to thank them to be so patient and caring and loving to me. I appreciate you kids.